As I progressed I became restless and I realized that the serious questions that were cropping up in my mind did not have satisfactory answers. I gradually began to develop difficulty in reconciling myself theologically and spiritually with the great importance given to chastity/celibacy and unconditional obedience to the pope, and the medieval, hierarchical, autocratic power structure in the Catholic Church. I became aware that that kind of curtailing of freedom of individuals was unnecessary and even harmful for spiritual life. I left the Jesuits at the age of 42, keeping with me the very best they gave, to continue my search for truth and answers to questions related to purpose of life in this world.
Where am I now at the age of 77? How do I see this world? This world is a beautiful place created for all. Every human is created in God’s image. I respect and revere every human. This beautiful world has taken a wrong turn that led to the strangle-hold of consumerism, greed, exhibitionism, vain glory, and domination by a select, rich, powerful, and privileged but misguided few. A world of solid values and virtues seems to be in the grip of demonic forces. These demons, no doubt, are within us. We can exorcise them if we dare to. Unfortunately we humans as co-creators have failed. Religions have so far failed to deliver their promises. However, finally truth will triumph.
Light will not be overcome by darkness. The teachings of Christ and Buddha, and the message given in the person of Sri Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, and the life of truth and non-violence modeled by Mahatma Gandhi in his practical life are eternal, and will provide guidance for all. There are other seers and luminaries illuminating our path. No doctrine or dogma can satisfy. Finally it is a question of faith in God or the person who reveals God. Even here any scripture or any divine being can be only a pointer to the Ultimate. But one thing we can be sure of. Love of God can happen only through love of humanity. God can be worshiped only in spirit, truth, and love. No one who loves his or her fellow human being, including the least one, will be lost. It is only difficult because of the bad programming we have received during our formative years, and because of the garbage we have collected in our mind over the years, and the baggage we carry that slows us down.
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